What's Up and where I am at during the holidays

There are times when my diet is not working:

• Breakfast does not keep well and I find that I need to eat all of this most important meal of the day.
• Momments of hospitality and visiting with friends and family ("What's that plastic container for..." OK sometimes it does work... but other times...)
• Deserts that I like too much... (Jude is helping me here by sometimes offering to share the desert with her ; )
• Some days I only eat 2 meals in that day...

I am finding that remembering the hungry does in many good ways inform my own appetites. I want to keep it real with you all and not forget the "least of these in our lives".

I have an advantage

Today I met a friend at our local donut shop. I guessed that that he would be there... and I knew he was hitting tough times... the sure sign is when collecting cans and bottles becomes a necessary part of survival...

I brought him half of what I had for dinner last night. He was so thankful for the gift and for being thought of...

I have the advantage of knowing people who struggle with life every day. At some point we move from identification and sharing to wanting to see the realities that they are struggling with transformed. The hunger in the prayer, "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done ON EARTH as it is in heaven". This keeps me on my knees, gives me clear reasons for fasting and prayer; Only God knows where this will lead.

The first Wave of avoidance.

Yesterday I bought a Burrito. I had it cut in half so I would be prepared to share it. The truth was I was hungry and had waited way too long for lunch -- two hours too long. When I saw Robert I knew that he would be grateful for a half a Burrito... but I kept on stepping... I was hungry... so is he...

The goal is not legalism or self-condemnation... but rather a deeper sense of awareness which is very connected to healthy spirituality... I ate the whole thing too fast and ended up with a little ache in the stomach because of it...

Still my awareness of my own consumption is strengthened by my awareness of Robert... a person who I now know by name... It is a grace to share... and I hope that I get to share with Robert at another time... This awareness gives me another motivation to start again -- for both of our wellbeing.

Food and Sorrow

The recent passing on to glory of my father-in-law set me in a context where the food I like was too plentiful and the temptation to use food as a source of comfort was hard to resist. It is a personal revelation that I sometimes use food to cover up feelings of loss, sadness, and sorrow.

This insight is both personal and a matter of the soul...

If I eat less I might learn to cry more and that I think is a good thing.

Sharing

I have been in Visalia more than LA in the last few days. My Father-in-"Love" is facing bravely the end of his days. I am tempted to bust my new diet by eating food for comfort. I continue to find sharing food a reward in and of itself. It is "More Blessed to give than recieve".

Life is too short not to share.

Pupusa's for Maria... what a gift.

I had left-overs from going out to eat with some of the guys. (Papusas are a mainstay in the diet of El Salvador.) Jesus Barajas, one of Maria's sons came along, so it was natural to walk him home. Before I left, Maria -- One of my favorite mothers in our neighborhood -- came home. Suddenly the extra calories that I would have eaten became a gift... She told me that she loves Pupusas... I would have never known because she's from Mexico.

The food also provided space and time for us to talk. She did not have to fix herself something. So we relaxed and talked together. She is promising to help me with my Spanish and I her English. She also promised to pray for Jude and my Father-In-law, Mark. She had learned of his sickness from a mutual friend. She reminded me that Jude would need my support and insisted on getting our telephone number so she could call Jude to encourage her.

Thom and the Tropical Barbeque

I met Thom by the Tropical Barbeque. He was to be my first guest for lunch.

I went into the Tropical Barbeque and bought my $5.00 lunch that I like to get from them on Tuesday Afternoons after my Net radio show. Split the meat, rice, Potato Salad, and lettuce into two equal portions (the lid served as a great plate for the second half of the food). I brought the food out then to share with him...

He said thanks... and began to eat... I said Thank you (he's helping me eat less). He was surprised that I sat on the step with him to eat. I was going to eat lunch somewhere... and I was the one who would benefit from his company... because he encouraged me in my new diet by his gratitude.

Soon he began to talk with me... he had just got out of the hospital. Sure there was alcohol on his breathe, but he was hungry and the alcohol was a street level pain reliever. I asked him if he was originally from LA... he said that he had move her from Indianapolis... He had worked as a gardener for the city for several years... that was a good job... but one day on the job he was attacked and badly damaged... "I still have nightmares"... not long after that trauma I lost my job and started recycling...

It is amazing how common the people who are homeless or people who become homeless have also been victims of trauma.

He shared with me several stories... including how the F%*#@ Police had given him a ticket for taking a shopping cart from a grocery store for recycling. I told him that the police are just like us... human and they got to do their job and that some of them are mean and others are OK. (I too have been handcuffed and called some bad names by a policeman while I was breaking up a fight in where a kid in a gang was beating up another kid... that doesn't mean they are all like that...) He told me that he was not sure what he was going to tell the judge... I told him tell him the truth... You wish you had a job, that you have no money, and You recycle cause that is how you have learned to survive... that if the court wanted you to go in to jail for the ticket that that would mean 3 meals and a bed to sleep on for a while... if not... any help getting a job would be greatly appreciated. He said... "I tell him just that"...

We talked on a few other topics... when our conversation turned to suffering and faith...

I shared with him how learning how to pray simple prayers have helped me with my experiences with trauma. I taught him what is commonly known as The Jesus Prayer' "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, Have Mercy on me a sinner." I said, "I have been praying that prayer ever since a monk friend taught it to me since 8th grade... and it has helped me a lot". He seemed to cling to these words of hope and griped my hand and said, "Thank You... I needed to hear someone who would share truth for real with me."

After my lunch hour was up and I indicated that I was going to go... he asked, "Will I see you again?" I said, "I usually come here on Tuesdays"... He said... "I hope to see you next Tuesday then..."

I said, "Thanks man that would be great"... he said, "No, Thank you, before I met you here I felt like shit... and I feel a lot better now."

This has warmed my heart even more to the idea that It is a win-win situation for me to share my food with the hungry.