Paradise is not Having Everything and not being able to share.

I am part of a wonderful organization call LA InnerChange -- which is part of a larger organization called Church Resource Ministries.  We just had a week long conference at a resort in Cancun Mexico.  It efficiently brought hundreds of us together to learn with and from each other.  But the all you can eat and drink for 1 price exposed in my my inner glutton.  On top of that I could not divide my plate in half and go and find a more deserving soul for my constant over estimating what I could healthily enjoy.  It humbled me further to find that I would get a sense that maybe fasting a meal would be good for me... But the mere walking by a grill cooking steak, chicken, sausage, and other delights would cause me to cave in and just go eat yet another meal.

Environments that consciously or unconsciously separate  us from the "poor" or what Jesus calls "The Least of these".   (See Matthew 25)  Really accelerates the tendency of the human soul to spend what we have on ourselves and to fall into the vanity of losing sight of why self-denial is essential to healthy spirituality.

I now need personally to throw a few parties that Jesus encourages to regain my sense of balance.  Our world is dieing from its own patterns of being either self-absorbed in pleasure, pain... and often both.  The poor in LA are still dieing fast from what they think they want to consume... than from any lack of what they truly need.  So the deception I am feeling pulled by is generally universal in nature.  Contentment learns to say when enough is truly enough.

We all need a lot of perspective.

When I got home... I fell sick.  But the sickness in my soul from being in an environment where I could have "it all" as pictured in those vacation post cards... simply exposed how far I need to go to truly be free from a heart defined by consumerism... and to learn to live in what Jesus calls "The Kingdom of God".

Sugar

Hi... been a long time since I posted here.  I have chosen for the Holidays to give up most obvious forms of sugar.  It is striking how many sweets and calories I have simply let others have because I was not eating cake, pie, ice cream, and other pretty empty yet tempting Calories.

This and I have a lot more friends on the margins.  So... my strategy of sharing my food with the hungry... well I need to recommit myself to this in the New Year.  So... I will be sharing more stories of a path to portion control that includes those around me.

Best to you all.

Fasting Usually Means...

Today a freind asked me about fasting. This is such an important discipline to those who want to grow in their will power to say NO! We live in a world of wall to wall advertisements... Stoping and saying no to food is just part of fasting.

She stirred to my remeberance the wisdom offered by Richard Foster in his classic book The Celebration of Disciplines... and more specifically his chapter on fasting.

For us Urban dwellers we can take the meal or the money we would have spent on the meal and give it to the poor or the homeless. We can pass on the resources to those who faithfully serve the less fortunate. We all can make missing a meal not just our loss but a gain for the poor... and there is good reason to do so ... (see Mattthew 25 & Isaiah 58).

Let our hunger remind us that our souls also hunger...

Take the time you would have taken to eat the meal that you are choosing to not have... Take that time for prayer...

And you may find your soul is fed with life... Life that coems from God.

Another Way of a Kind of Fasting.

We often take food for granted.

What if we only ate for a day the food that was offered to us.

This can be done as often as once a week...and leads to a kind of fasting that can be done even when visiting family and friends...while being completely silent about it... We might find ourselves more greatful for hospitality. We might feel hunger and identify with the hungry. We would feel the lingering hope of the hungry poor... wondering if they might recieve the gift of broken bread and fish from our hands and the hand of Jesus...

Sharing food...and late night Snacks

I got to share food today with an intern and a co-worker. This meant less calories for me and a deeper sense of friendship with them...

since we got on the topic of the popular Atkin's Diet I thought I would mention my own diet. Randa, our office manager said something funny and profound, "If you always had to find someone to share your food with who was hungry... then this would cut out late night snacking... I mean who's going to go out and look for a homeless friend just to eat that late night snack."

She didn't know that I am a late night snacker... so once again being committed to keep the ties of food and fellowship together will reduce the empty calories that I do not need...

It is a good thing to share...

I have now got a new membership

Yes I am joining the ranks of those who are adding exercise to thier diet. Christmas and New Years family gatherings and Other gatherings just busted my diet and I gained the weight that I had lost right back and some. Pluss I have found it a challenge to get back into the grove.

I have chosen Golds gym on 7th and Fig. cause I can sometimes go with a friend. Pluss I can bring friends free with buddy passes (even if they can't afford it themselves... got to work the tax deductable gift in kind angle for some of my friends who need extra work out for rehab. reasons.)

The hunger of others world wide... why are we afraid... because they are desperate and if we do not do anything about it... they will...

I thought learning to share was a Pre-school leason.
Got Free week in Gym tickets to share ; )

Yesterday I had a short break for Dinner...

Yesterday I had a short break for Dinner... and on the way in a guy asked me for spare change. I didn't have much change so I told him so... I was at "Food Land" a chinese/mexican fast food restaurant for a short break and dinner. The portions at "Food Land" are extra-large working-class to guarentee that you don't leave hungry. The size of the portions made it clear that I would either eat too much, or share this... I went back outside and asked the young man if he wanted to share my food.

After a puzzled hesitation he came in and I pointed to the extra plate I had set asside. I let him know that I have been hungry in the past and I was willing to share my abundance. He indicated that he was willing to take his food outside. I said you can eat with me. A small smile broke on his face... I was seeking to treat him as a young man and an equal... and not a beggar. He ate as quickly as possible not neglecting any of the details of coutesy that he had grown up with... He shared a few facts with me... he was homeless... Originally from Mexico... that his family could not support him there and so he had come here looking for a better life...

When he had finished he excused himself and when I left he said thanks. The marks of struggle on this young soul's face, hands, and in his eyes are etched on my soul. I also feel that Jesus made the opportunity here a blessed sacred space. Food offered and given is not always recieved with gratitude.

Some of the people out on the streets who are begging for money are genuinely hungry.

Another way this Christmas season to be generous to the poor and homeless...

Clean socks and good shoes are a constant need for the homeless and the working poor. Sticking an extra pair of socks in your coat pocket is one way to offer something other than food. If you feet get messed up then so does your mobility... in some cases it makes the difference of being able to get out of harms way.

You can often tell by looking whether someone has a need in this department. Responding to a real felt need is human. A genuine smile is just as important as meeting a real need. Sometimes food is not the real need.

Also got this tip from my friend Kathy.

Hi my friends with various Podiatry concerns!

I was reading in a medical journal recently of this treatment for nail fungus...perhaps if anyone has nail fungus they can try it out personally and let us know in 6-12 months if it works. As you may know the standard medication also takes 6 months of treatment and costs $700 and most insurances do not cover this.

Rub Vicks VapoRub into scrubbed toenails twice a day for 6-12 months is alternative therapy!

Much love guys!
Kathy

Sharing food is a lifestyle. There are many paths to prayer...

I have been very busy. So I have had less time to stop and share tangilbe meals with friends. But my discipline has made me more aware of those around me that are hungry. The irony that I start reaching for food in response to stress has added a smile to my face; Now it is another reminder to pray for my friends and not just another craving. We pray, "give US this day Our daily bread."

This year I around before the Thanksgiving holiday I prayed for Turkeys. A prayer that comes from having hungry friends. I asked a church contact that had provided Turkeys for Thanksgiving last year... they had already promised the food to others... Latter on they came through with 3 bags of food but no actual turkeys...

Now I am not talking about handing out Turkeys to strangers... but to hungry Friends and Neighbors.

Wednessday night the day before Thanks Giving... I was on the way to celebrate a friends Birthday (a Shout out to David... we are just growing older... and hopefully wiser...) ... Christy who works for APU called me up on Jude's Cell phone and said they had placed a student with an organization... that chose to support the striking Hotel and Restaurant workers in Los Angeles by providng food for the holiday. They came through for them with plenty. They had extra food and 100 extra turkeys to give out.

That same day Dan a friend and past IC intern was visiting with Kathy and Reina in our neighborhood. They were able to go and pick up 15 Turkeys. More than we needed. (I am learning that God can answer prayers without me being part of it; this is the flip side of learning that sometimes God's provision is within my power and responsibility.)

The fun part of this is the "more than enough" that was provided at the last minute for more people than I had thought of... and we still have a couple Turkeys to share... and so it goes...

Thank you God!!!

Thank you Christy for being the unplanned connection for this secrete prayer request. Thank you all who have been involved in being part of this answer to prayer.

When we know those whose needs are greater than what we have to give... it gives us a chance to learn to pray... to cry out to God!

See Isaiah 58...

Lose the meals and grab the Junk...

My diet takes time. Today I am stopping the rushing to reflect on life...

and I have been not taking care of myself for a couple of days... the rush continues...

I am sick now with a sinus infection... add this to the fact that my whole body is telling me to slow down...

it is this blog that is challenging me and draging me back to the awareness that eating right is part of loving myself. A for of self reflection in public space...

I have missed breakfast the last 3 or 4 days. And then compensated for this at other meals...
I have started to grab the Holiday Junk food that is so available...
I have started to eat more than I need to at the clebrations that I am invited to...

This is all part of the holiday rush...
In the past I would pick up a pound or two each Christmas / New Years...

This year I am breaking even...

The missing element is exercise...

Humility feeds insight back to the soul... I am improving because I have remained conscious of myself and my neighbor... our conditions of life are connected.

What's Up and where I am at during the holidays

There are times when my diet is not working:

• Breakfast does not keep well and I find that I need to eat all of this most important meal of the day.
• Momments of hospitality and visiting with friends and family ("What's that plastic container for..." OK sometimes it does work... but other times...)
• Deserts that I like too much... (Jude is helping me here by sometimes offering to share the desert with her ; )
• Some days I only eat 2 meals in that day...

I am finding that remembering the hungry does in many good ways inform my own appetites. I want to keep it real with you all and not forget the "least of these in our lives".

I have an advantage

Today I met a friend at our local donut shop. I guessed that that he would be there... and I knew he was hitting tough times... the sure sign is when collecting cans and bottles becomes a necessary part of survival...

I brought him half of what I had for dinner last night. He was so thankful for the gift and for being thought of...

I have the advantage of knowing people who struggle with life every day. At some point we move from identification and sharing to wanting to see the realities that they are struggling with transformed. The hunger in the prayer, "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done ON EARTH as it is in heaven". This keeps me on my knees, gives me clear reasons for fasting and prayer; Only God knows where this will lead.

The first Wave of avoidance.

Yesterday I bought a Burrito. I had it cut in half so I would be prepared to share it. The truth was I was hungry and had waited way too long for lunch -- two hours too long. When I saw Robert I knew that he would be grateful for a half a Burrito... but I kept on stepping... I was hungry... so is he...

The goal is not legalism or self-condemnation... but rather a deeper sense of awareness which is very connected to healthy spirituality... I ate the whole thing too fast and ended up with a little ache in the stomach because of it...

Still my awareness of my own consumption is strengthened by my awareness of Robert... a person who I now know by name... It is a grace to share... and I hope that I get to share with Robert at another time... This awareness gives me another motivation to start again -- for both of our wellbeing.

Food and Sorrow

The recent passing on to glory of my father-in-law set me in a context where the food I like was too plentiful and the temptation to use food as a source of comfort was hard to resist. It is a personal revelation that I sometimes use food to cover up feelings of loss, sadness, and sorrow.

This insight is both personal and a matter of the soul...

If I eat less I might learn to cry more and that I think is a good thing.

Sharing

I have been in Visalia more than LA in the last few days. My Father-in-"Love" is facing bravely the end of his days. I am tempted to bust my new diet by eating food for comfort. I continue to find sharing food a reward in and of itself. It is "More Blessed to give than recieve".

Life is too short not to share.

Pupusa's for Maria... what a gift.

I had left-overs from going out to eat with some of the guys. (Papusas are a mainstay in the diet of El Salvador.) Jesus Barajas, one of Maria's sons came along, so it was natural to walk him home. Before I left, Maria -- One of my favorite mothers in our neighborhood -- came home. Suddenly the extra calories that I would have eaten became a gift... She told me that she loves Pupusas... I would have never known because she's from Mexico.

The food also provided space and time for us to talk. She did not have to fix herself something. So we relaxed and talked together. She is promising to help me with my Spanish and I her English. She also promised to pray for Jude and my Father-In-law, Mark. She had learned of his sickness from a mutual friend. She reminded me that Jude would need my support and insisted on getting our telephone number so she could call Jude to encourage her.

Thom and the Tropical Barbeque

I met Thom by the Tropical Barbeque. He was to be my first guest for lunch.

I went into the Tropical Barbeque and bought my $5.00 lunch that I like to get from them on Tuesday Afternoons after my Net radio show. Split the meat, rice, Potato Salad, and lettuce into two equal portions (the lid served as a great plate for the second half of the food). I brought the food out then to share with him...

He said thanks... and began to eat... I said Thank you (he's helping me eat less). He was surprised that I sat on the step with him to eat. I was going to eat lunch somewhere... and I was the one who would benefit from his company... because he encouraged me in my new diet by his gratitude.

Soon he began to talk with me... he had just got out of the hospital. Sure there was alcohol on his breathe, but he was hungry and the alcohol was a street level pain reliever. I asked him if he was originally from LA... he said that he had move her from Indianapolis... He had worked as a gardener for the city for several years... that was a good job... but one day on the job he was attacked and badly damaged... "I still have nightmares"... not long after that trauma I lost my job and started recycling...

It is amazing how common the people who are homeless or people who become homeless have also been victims of trauma.

He shared with me several stories... including how the F%*#@ Police had given him a ticket for taking a shopping cart from a grocery store for recycling. I told him that the police are just like us... human and they got to do their job and that some of them are mean and others are OK. (I too have been handcuffed and called some bad names by a policeman while I was breaking up a fight in where a kid in a gang was beating up another kid... that doesn't mean they are all like that...) He told me that he was not sure what he was going to tell the judge... I told him tell him the truth... You wish you had a job, that you have no money, and You recycle cause that is how you have learned to survive... that if the court wanted you to go in to jail for the ticket that that would mean 3 meals and a bed to sleep on for a while... if not... any help getting a job would be greatly appreciated. He said... "I tell him just that"...

We talked on a few other topics... when our conversation turned to suffering and faith...

I shared with him how learning how to pray simple prayers have helped me with my experiences with trauma. I taught him what is commonly known as The Jesus Prayer' "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, Have Mercy on me a sinner." I said, "I have been praying that prayer ever since a monk friend taught it to me since 8th grade... and it has helped me a lot". He seemed to cling to these words of hope and griped my hand and said, "Thank You... I needed to hear someone who would share truth for real with me."

After my lunch hour was up and I indicated that I was going to go... he asked, "Will I see you again?" I said, "I usually come here on Tuesdays"... He said... "I hope to see you next Tuesday then..."

I said, "Thanks man that would be great"... he said, "No, Thank you, before I met you here I felt like shit... and I feel a lot better now."

This has warmed my heart even more to the idea that It is a win-win situation for me to share my food with the hungry.